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Top 10 festivals

I was asked to make a report on festival for my English class… What a dull task! Why should I make a report on something which is not of my interest? Ok. I googled and found some information concerning festivals…. will it be anough to satisfy the teacher an to get a good mark? 🙂

World’s 10 best festivals

Beija Flor Samba School float during Carnival parade at the Sambodrome. The bird-shaped Sambodrome icon determines where the parade ends.

Beija Flor Samba School float during Carnival parade at the Sambodrome. The bird-shaped Sambodrome icon determines where the parade ends.

Lonely Planet mediaMen in costume, Il Palio parade.Parade for Semana Santa (HolyWeek), daily religious procession of people in deep purple robes in remembrance of the Crucifixion - Antigua Guatemala, SacatepequezA young boy with enough marigolds to decorate the neighbourhood, his recent purchase will decorate his own home for the Diwali Festival held in NovemberOverhead of crowd, La Tomatina.Trumpet players, New Orleans Mardi Gras.

Being at festivals is like standing inside the mind of a culture as it dreams. They have the ability to be both extremely intimate and public spectacles at the same time. Here are 10 of the world’s best festivals. Let yourself go.

Mardi Gras, USA

Image by Infrogmation

New Orleans; early January. This famous two-week festival features parades headed by ‘Kings’ and ‘Queens’ leading a flotilla of garish floats manned by ‘krewes’ who throw trinkets to the crowds (who usually beg for it; if they don’t, female krewe members bare their breasts in encouragement). The culmination is the wicked mayhem of Mardi Gras Day (also known as Fat Tuesday), when all inhibitions are let loose. The next day, Ash Wednesday, is the first day of Lent, when abstinence prevails, making Fat Tuesday the ultimate excuse for a piss up, a knees up and a throw up.

Carnaval, Brazil

Image by sfmission.com

Rio de Janeiro; early February. This is sex and samba on a stick, drawing around a million people each year for its throbbing, fourday-long festivities. The centrepiece is the Sambódromo parade, when neighbourhood groups compete against each other for the title of best ‘samba school’; flashy floats and nearly nude women feature prominently. The Masquerade Ball is almost as breathtaking, rammed to the gills with celebrities and mere mortals alike, all bemasked, bewigged and becostumed. Wear a G-string (thong) for best results.

Kanamara Matsuri, Japan

Image by Ryuugakusei

Kawasaki; 31 March & 1 April. Japan is a study in contradictions. Here’s a society that bans pubic hair from being shown in films, yet holds this absolutely bonkers fertility extravaganza. The ‘Festival of the Steel Phallus’ features transvestites carrying a whopping great pink penis through town while onlookers of all ages suck on phallus-shaped lollipops, kids straddle penile swings, and adults carve radishes into penises. The festival was originally held to ward against a syphilis surge in the 17th century and now raises money for AIDS research.

Semana Santa, Guatemala

Image by marinakvillatoro

Antigua; Easter. Semana Santa commemorates the Passion, the Crucifixion and the Resurrection in a week of feverish worship. Statues of Jesus are paraded through streets layered with flowers, pines and fruits in various designs – some up to a kilometre (0.6mi) long. Then the sentencing and crucifixion of Christ is re-enacted, complete with Roman centurions and Pilate, while, seemingly, the entire city is draped in black crepe and smelling of incense. Even an atheist’s jaw would drop in awe at the sheer scale and passion of the proceedings.

Il Palio, Italy


Image by SpecialKRB

Siena; July & August. This heart-stopping event revolves around a bone-crunching, bareback horse race run around the Piazza del Campo; it lasts 90 seconds although the rest of the day is taken up with major-league carousing. The frequently violent race features jockeys from Siena’s 17 neighbourhoods, all traditional rivals (intermarriage is often forbidden). Expect to see riders thudding to the ground with alarming regularity (this truly is a no-holds-barred event) and don’t be surprised to be offered a baby bottle of wine when it’s all over – for the neighbourhoods, a win means rebirth.

La Tomatina, Spain


Image by flydime

Buñol; last Wednesday in August. Tomato buffs rejoice! For this is your festival. Each year tens of thousands of people descend on Buñol for La Tomatina, the culmination of a week-long celebration of Buñol’s patron saint. An estimated 125,000kg (275,625lb) of tomatoes are used, driven into the town square by a convoy of trucks. Drunken participants dive in, hurtling the fruit at each other until the streets run red like the sickest splatter film, and then it’s all over – within an hour.

Burning Man, USA


Image by *christopher*

Black Rock City, Nevada; August or September. This week-long spectacle draws 30,000 people, making it Nevada’s third-biggest ‘city’ for that brief period. What exactly is Burning Man? It’s hard to say. The founder reckons it’s a City of Art; the motto is ‘No Spectators’ and you have to contribute something, anything, to that year’s theme. It is forbidden to sell stuff at the festival (the exceptions are the official outlets for coffee and ice) so the friendly bartering of goods between strangers gives the festival a special feel. The entire shebang culminates in thousands of spectators witnessing a giant, burning effigy, possibly inspired by the pagan horror film Wicker Man.

Diwali, India


Image by harpreet thinking

October or November. This five-day festival (also known as Deepavaali or Festival of Lights), which unites all creeds and religions, sees homes all over India lit with lamps and candles to ward off the darkness of evil. The homes are then thoroughly spring-cleaned while the people take the opportunity to buy new clothes and set off an armada of firecrackers, which sees noise-pollution levels rise dramatically (actually, it’s enough to perforate eardrums on the other side of the planet). On top of that, sweets are exchanged as hatchets are buried and grudges are forgotten…at least for now.

Día de Muertos, Mexico


Image by Eneas

1 & 2 November. Mexico’s ’Day of the Dead’ does not pay homage to filmmaker George Romero – rather, it’s a two-day festival celebrating the reunion of relatives with their dear departed. Expect colourful costumes, loads of food and drink, skeletons on stilts, parties in cemeteries, skull-shaped lollies and mariachi bands performing next to graves. This beautiful, moving spectacle will demystify your fear of crossing over, because – unlike Halloween’s witches and all-round terror – the Day of the Dead smashes the taboos surrounding death, celebrating the continuation of life beyond and the value of interdimensional communion.

Noche de los Rábanos, Mexico


Image by phylevn

Oaxaca; 23 December. The ‘Night of the Radishes’ began as a marketing gimmick: when the Spanish first brought radishes to Mexico in the 16th century, they carved them into fanciful shapes to attract buyers (although they didn’t go quite as far as the Japanese; see ‘Kanamara Matsuri’). Today the tradition takes the form of a contest, as local artisans carve tableaux from massive radishes for a cash prize and the respect of lovers of crisp, pungent roots worldwide.

Read more: http://www.lonelyplanet.com/india/travel-tips-and-articles/76237#ixzz2BiTUGg48

What’s wrong with my PC?

Whats wrong with my PC?

The activity of my CPU cores are in antiphase…

Learn programming to solve real problems!

Cute Hacker Girl

Don’t learn to program.  Learn to program the sexy way.

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[For fun] China++ xD

[For fun] China++ xD

Dynamic memory management in China++
It is pretty awesome!
More at: http://kevinxi.wordpress.com/

The Creation of a Pussy

Hello. Another funny poem for you!

The Creation of a Pussy

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
Created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher, smart and with,
Using a knife, he gave it a slit.
Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
Using a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole.
Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
With a piece of red velvet, he lines it within.
Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
With a piece of fox fur, he lined it without.
Fifth was a fisherman nasty as hell,
He threw in a fish, and gave it a smell.
Next came a preacher whose name was McGee,
Touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.
Last came a biker, dirty little nut,
Sucked it and fucked it and called it a cunt.

Original: http://www.jokes2go.com/poems/11082.html

Thank you for visiting our blog. Have a nice day!

English Tek

It’s dark here…

Good afternoon, English learners, and welcome to our English Tech Blog.

Today we have a funny story for you. Have fun.


A woman and her lover are in the house while the husband is at work. Her nine year old son comes in, and after seeing them making love he hides in the wardrobe and watches them. All of a sudden the husband comes. Wife hides her lover in the wardrobe, without knowing that her son is in there. Boy:

– It’s dark here.

– Yes it is.

– I’ve got a soccer ball.

– That’s nice.

– Do you want to buy it?

– No, thanks.

– My dad is outside.

– Ok, how much?

– 250 dollars.

After a few weeks man and boy run into each other again in the wardrobe. Boy:

– It’s dark here.

– Yes it is.

– I’ve got a soccer cleats.

Remembering what happened last time, man asks:

– How much?

– 750 dollars.

– Ok.

After few days, father says to his son:

– Lets go and play soccer.

– I can’t, I sold the ball and the cleats.

– How much did you get?

– 1000 dollars.

– That is terrible, how could you ask so much money…. that’s much more than they are worth. That’s a sin, so you should go to the church and confess.

Father takes his son to the church confessional. Boy gets in, closes the door and says:

– It’s dark here.

Priest:

– Don’t start with that shit again!!!

Original: http://lingualeo.ru/jungle/12634


Thanks for visiting our blog. Good luck and take care.

English Tek

Funny phrases, or confused meanings

Hello, dear readers.

Today we have a few interesting phrases or labels in English that can be found in different countries and places. Be aware – it is not correct English! The correct variant is also provided.

1. Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Correct: Ladies are requested not to take children to the bar.

2. At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.
IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Correct: Please, do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, ask the guard on duty for permission.

3. Doctor’s office in Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Correct: Specialist in problems of women and other diseases.

4. Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner. Japan:
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL
YOURSELF.

Correct: … please, control (operate) it by yourself.

5. In Aamchi Mumbai restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

Correct: Open all week including weekends.

6. The best! In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Correct: Special cocktails with nuts for the ladies.

7. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS,
ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

Correct: You are welcome to visit cemetery daily except Thursday. It is the place where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried.

8. Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM,
IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Correct: … it is suggested that the lobby be used for entertaining.

9. Advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

Correct: Teeth are extracted using the latest methods.

10. A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Correct: Ladies, leave your outer clothes here. Spend the afternoon having a good time.

11. Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

Correct: horse-driven !? Surprised smile

12. Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Correct: No mistake. Just funny. Open-mouthed smile

13. The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.

Correct: Can’t get the humor here. Can you?

14. Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

Correct: We take your bags and send them wherever you need.

15. In a Japanese cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Correct: ? It is so terrible… Crying face

The source available at: http://lingualeo.ru/jungle/13043

Thanks for visiting our blog. Good luck and take care.

English Tek